Staying home

I don't want to go out anymore I have zero motivation at this point

I don't mind school

But I have no more energy for social interactions

But I can't stay home

Mother will make me regret ever being born if I stay home

She'll make me feel worthless again

I feel trapped

I don't have enough money to move out let alone have enough to get a dam pencil

I can't move to my gran

She cares about me but I'm not her favorite grandchild because I'm not physically expressive in terms of emotions

It's not my fault I'm like that...

I never learned how to express any emotion when I was a child I was never allowed to and if I did I would be beaten by father since any emotion I showed to him it was disrespectful

Like always I have to keep silent and go on with life like I'm not about to have a mental breakdown

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