I hope he's okay.

I woke up this morning (afternoon...) with the idea that I'd have therapy and then call the EBT office to set up a time for my interview - the one that gets my foodstamps turned back on. I've been trying to get their assistance for two months now, and due to limited funds and resources, we've been unable to get things to them in a timely manner. 

It's become very difficult for people to fathom how we can possibly be able to have internet, power, and water and only ever barely be able to scrape by. It's beacuse I try very hard in my sexwork and in my commission writing. Whenever my boyfriend is able to get a job, they let him go for some stupid reason. The latest reason? "We weren't supposed to hire you, it was an accident on corporate's end."

You don't "accidentally" hire someone and then brag them up... both owners of the place loved him. Fire someone who sucks at their job, not the person you've been literally worshipping for doing their job perfectly. Anyone in Kentucky... Gatti's pizza is delicious, but they're run by backless turds.

Anyway... back to today.

One of my commissions was paid for, so I had enough to get us something to eat for dinner for once (it's been a while since we'd eaten, a couple days) and get some more cat food for our cats (Mother and Father cats to four kittens that nobody wanted to adopt). We refuse to dump them at a shelter and we refuse to abandon them - we've decided to raise them and they're happy and fed as well as we can feed them. They love us and they never cause us trouble (save their mother, Miley... who is a terror). So... we're not crazy cat collectors, we simply won't abandon animals.

Anyway.

I had enough to get us all food. We had coupons cut out to make it even more affordable. My boyfriend was so excited, because money, and thus food, is rare now. So we get ready to go get a couple things, water and my boyfriend's favorite soda, and then we pull into Rally's and get the coupons ready. He gets two chicken-bite boxes with fries and an extra fry for a dollar... and then I would have gotten two fish sandwiches for, I think $3.00. Either way, our entire order would have come up to about $8.00. The restaraunt is out of fish, so I don't get to use my coupons.

So I didn't get to eat tonight, but I'm relieved my partner did and my cats are full and happy and sleeping. He wanted to share one of his bite boxes with me, but I told him no. He'd been looking forward to them all day and I wasn't about to take that away from him. Yeah, I was a little jealous... I do feel left out of a lot of things, but in the end, I'm a big girl... the last thing I need is to eat more. These past few days of fasting are probably doing me some good right now.

On the way home, I'm holding my boyfriend's food bag closed so his dinner stays hot and mostly just trying not to focus so much on the hunger pangs. The sun was really, really bright since it was nearing sunset - we're driving toward it at this point. I happen to notice a large rock-like thing in the road, and as my eyes adjust away from the sunlight, I notice it's a turtle.

I gasp in awe, because turtle, but then my boyfriend notices it a bit too late. My window was open and I heard aloud cracking-bump sound. My heart broke immediately and I started to cry. I cried on the way home, quietly, and he felt bad, too. 

This whole day was cursed from the get-go. Anything that we find slight joy about is ruined with catastrophy and it's been this way for two years. 

I'm contacting a priest as soon as I can. I'm certain because of all the deaths that happened on his property, something is angry. There is no other logical explanation... this house is certainly haunted. Leave me a comment if I should make a post about what it's like to live in my home if you need more clarification. The longer one lives here... the more one has to fight for contentment.

I hope that sweet turtle is okay... we're so, so sorry, Turtle. Please be okay.