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overdue blogging!

heya! been a hot minute since ive made a blog for yall, sorry! its been really really hectic with the start of the new school year, so I havnt had the time to make a full blog. But, that means I have a lot to talk about! today might be a long one friends, so Im excited to share with yall. 


So, Spacehey news first as always. I know I keep promising to be more active, but sadly ive been really inactive with all thats going on. Ive chatted a little in IMs with some folks, but i havnt been adding people as much as I used to and reaching out to old friends. As I said, with school starting ive been pretty busy. I always say im trying to be more active, but i dont like making empty promises. I will try to be more active, but i might not be able to for long, as things are getting more and more busy. I like you guys, dont worry. I wont forget about you! 

So, the big thing that Ive been up to… school of course! I’m a sophomore in highschool, which is 10th grade. Last year, I had a medical crisis in the third quarter. It was a medication induced hypomania, so I was over-energetic with racing thoughts. Doing stuff was hard, and focusing to do work was even harder. I also left my friend group on unrelated reasons, so I went into this summer with no friends except my ex, who eventually stopped talking to me to. Despite this, i wanted this year to be better. I wanted to be healthier, for myself. I want to make new friends, have new experiences. So, i went into this year trying to be more optimistic, to be more organized, and overall healthier. Ive had a couple of struggles with summer reading and focus, but so far ive done pretty good with my goal. I have to thank my parents for being patient (for the most part), my lovey girlfriend for helping me to calm down when things get tough, and to my old two friends for meeting up with me again when I felt lonely and reached out. 

So, social life. I have two friends that I go out to play cards with, old friends from a while ago. One of them is very reliable, a trustworthy and calculated guy. We play strategy games together sometimes, and the guy plays cold and smart. Its ironic, because his calculated and precise methods lead to usually comedic results, as he likes to cause chaos in the card/board games we play together. My other friend is very scattered and unorganized, nerdy but shy and more reserved. He is very kind though, and loves to read. We share that in common, and often work together in the card games we play. I want more friends though, closer friends. I dont feel very intimate with these guys, and even though we hang out on occasion I sometimes wish i knew them better. I hope to keep them as friends and strengthen our bonds. I wanna expand my social life too, by joining clubs at school.

Speaking of clubs, I’ll be helping run a DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) club at the middle school i used to go to this year. When I used to go there I ran the club alone, but since then every year a new person has taken charge of the club and Ive just helped out. Its a lot of fun when its working, and I like playing DnD with people. I will be running my own campaign, meaning I will be acting as a storyteller, narrator, and rulekeeper for a group of 4 this year. Im nervous, but excited. I tried to do this last year and played a couple sessions, but I had to leave because the club was so disorganized under last year’s leader that players kept leaving and rejoining campaigns. This year, the current head Dungeon Master (campaign leader) is a kid that I personally had in my club on my last year of school. I trust that he will do a good job, and although he is a little scattered and rules obsessed at times he was very enthusiastic, and i think he will do a fine job. Hopefully a better job than the head last year. Tomorrow is the first session, and im excited but nervous. i havnt fully planned out what I want to do, but ill roll with the punches like I always do. Its a new year, time for something new! 

My mental health is doing alright, although im working really hard and feel a lot of pressure to succeed. My parents have been sometimes helpful, sometimes stress inducing. Some days i feel like they cheer me on, other days I see them express their concern through hounding me about finishing work and stressing me out. Well, they may not be actually hounding me, but reminding me multiple times and asking me about it repeatedly just stresses me out. Im going to do my best witth school work this year, but im going to try to have a healthier mindset. Grades arnt everything, and I want my whole life to prosper, not just academics. 

So my brother is in college rn, and its been alright around the house being the only kid home. Well, alright meaning a little strange. I can feel my parents put more focus on me, to mixed results. I miss him, but he was also difficult to deal with. We had a complicated relationship due to his issues with powerplays and my lack of interest in dealing with his bullshit. I tried really hard to connect with him, but when he was acting like an asshole to me i just ignored him. He seems to have come around though at college, and i think its doing good for him. hes relaxing, becuase he was so damn worried about it being intense and its been calm so far so hes calmed down himself a little. God, he is insufferable about his girlfriend tho. Not because he talks about her constantly, although he does, but because he refuses to introduce her to our parents as his girlfriend. Maybe it would be alright to try and deny any relationship, if he wasnt constantly trying to bring her to family events. He brought her on our private family vacation in Maine over the summer, and the whole trip had this air of uncomfortable awkwardness. I just hope he doesnt try to get her to come to the Christmas trip with our extended family. That would be god awfully awkward for me. He will try to, i can just sense it. I will do my damnest to convince my parents to not let her come (i dont hate her but since she isnt like, officially confirmed as his girlfriend shes just like, his “special friend” and it makes everything concerning their relationship weird in conversations). 

Anyways, thats all the time I have to talk about this rn. I have class to attend, ill say more later! hope you enjoyed this update in my life, and i hope you all have a great day! take care <3


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