2nd year

Second week of school. Not drowing yet. Surprisingly, im doing pretty good. I'm not on top of everything but I am managing. I've been meeting a lot of new people and learning a lot more about being social. Sometimes I worry that my personality is overbearing or I am too loud. Today I met someone who others would probably describe as overbearing or loud, but I think they're so funny and cool. 

Over the past few months, I've learned a lot about who I am. I also realized that I care too much about what other people think of me. I always thought I would not ever have to grapple with staying true to myself, but how can I do that if my perception of myself is so grainy anyways? No wonder I get so insecure. I think I need to focus on doing stuff that makes me feel like yknow, a teenage girl. hence the blogging rn to remind myself that I am not a robot.

I'm actually at school still right now. I came around 9:30 and will leave around that time later as well probably. I was lucky to meet someone in my Spanish class who is guiding me a bit. He's already introduced me to like more than 3 people. It's great. I don't feel so alone because of him. 

I've been coming to a lot of realizations recently. Ive come to the conclusion that I don't have time for holding on, anger, envy, etc. It's a weird mindset I have to break myself out of. Im also trying to change my outlook on school. I actually don't hate it here honestly. I like it, I like my major, I am enjoying my program. However I'm so nervous about my electives (finance and economics). I used to be such an overachiever which is why I did good in school. I often picture my sister when I think about my study habits as a kid. But I think once I came to the realization that doing things for other people sucks, I strayed away from those habits and just became somewhat ... bitter? Idk. I should start my homework. Another time I will come back here and continue to splurge about uni. Its cool!

pce!