09/06/22, 19:58

idk. im normally able to articulate my feelings better, as proven in past entries. lately its like... im in a trance. im just so tired, day after day. ive nothing to do, so i just sleep. when i do go out i feel better, but trying to get myself out is such an ordeal. my biggest issue is outfits. fashion is for the skinny, honestly. you dont need to be skinny to have good style, but skinny people seem to be able to wear anything. ill put together a cute outfit but its ruined by my chest and ribs, and it just makes me sad. i wish i was skinny. had the body of a model, or a teenage boy. i think id be happier as a boy, but i dont wanna be one at the same time. its a mess. i just wanna be held. i want to be held by someone and have our bodies tangled together, one mass, our breath intermingling, heartbeats steady with the other. is that too much to ask for?