i think it was the most beautiful thing i’ve ever witnessed. i kept trying to tell people around me - isn’t this beautiful? isn’t it godly? isn’t it the grandest thing that’s happened in your life? because it was. they laughed and nodded but only because they thought i was mostly joking. surely this can’t be the grandest thing. i think they misinterpreted my meaning. when something changes your life in mere seconds you really feel it. the guard at the barrier saw me so incredibly distraught from joy that he thought i needed help. i reassured him i was just having a blast. usually after such a loud event there’s ringing - and there is, ringing. but on top of the ringing is something much smoother sounding. it’s cold and warm and metallic. it’s round and it gets louder when i close my eyes. it’s almost like talking. i ask divine things for so much. and the connection is so strong now. there’s something so amazing about succumbing to the hordes of people around you. all squeezing and pulling and clawing and pinching and stepping and sweating and fainting and pushing and reaching with all their absolute might for something they cannot obtain. at first you try to push back, gain some space, something and anything. after a while you let it become you. you are this horde. everyone is everyone. we all want the same thing and we will never get it. we all sweat the same sweat and touch each others skin and step on each others feet and say the same words. there are many many worse ways to die.
honey/honest
3 Kudos
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