vent post (message to my 'friends')

I hate you i hate all of you so fucking much. I gave you everything, and you took away everything i had. You ruined me, left me like a wreck and didnt even care. I was always there for you, forgived you every time, bc i thought we were friends. You never cared, didnt care that i was worse than ever, didnt care that i couldnt stand seeing my own face. I was fucking there for you at every minor shit. I was the one who dealt with your panic attacks, i talked to you when you shd, i didnt care because i loved you. You never asked if i was okay, just compared the fucking scars like its normal. YOU fucked up I forgave, was ready to give everything up again bc i cared, then you leave me bc YOU FEEL BAD?? How do you think I felt, when you left me alone in some random town in the middle of the night with a bunch of drunk people? When i woke up to you having sex right next to me? When you would ignore me for days, weeks. But i was always fucking there. I didnt care bc it meant something to me. I always gave my best and now you stab me in the back, because my mental stuff isnt funny anymore? Bc i started to show things, youve been shoving down my throat for years? I fucking hate you and when school starts, and you try to come near me, i will beat the shit out of both of you. I dont care. Fuck yourselves, fuck everything, i hope you suffer the way i suffered, and i want you to now, that from now on, i dont want anything from you

sorry for posting this on here i just had to write it out