Mental Health Word Vomit

I've been writing the erotica, yes... and commissions. You know, I've been writing and doing messaging with friends and loved ones. I have been writing. What I haven't been doing is purging the words from my back burner, because I guess I feel like lately there's no point in it.

With the help of federally legal Delta 8... I think I found the motivation to not give a fuck about whether or not this reaches someone. I don't care about feedback but I welcome it. I don't care about hurting anyone's feelings with this, but I sincerely don't intend to. This post, I guess... is me writing. Just mindlessly droning on to see if I can maybe unlock secrets of myself or maybe make some kind of breakthrough.

Maybe someone reading this will see what kind of heart I have.

What kind of thoughts I fight with.

This really seems like it's going to be a dark and moody piece, doesn't it? That's not what I meant to do... sorry, haha. Let's be real though... the things we hold in most are on the darker side. Things like feeling so depressed you'd really rather not be breathing right now. Things like the voices being so loud and demanding that you can't really determine them from reality right now. The scary, frustrating, or straight up miserable parts are the parts we're taught to keep bottled inside... but I've never understood why.

Why should we keep it bottled up inside? Is it for the comfort of others? Because those of us struggling mental illness and/or mental injury are burdens and you don't want to feel responsible? If I were to bet money on it... as a reverend... I am willing to bet money on the reason we're to be hush-hush about an unwell psyche... is because nobody wants to earn their way into a good afterlife.

Yes. Nobody wants to help the psyche-damaged because it is too much work.

How do you think we feel?