dryer balls

i feel like something is ending. nothing is, i don't have the normal friends and boyfriend from highschool that i have to physically say goodbye to. everything is already long distance, why does it feel like its all going to change anyways? for months i've felt relieved that everything is already long distance, that i dont have to say goodbye. but now that im here it feels like things are still going to be different. that things will still grow apart. they shouldn't, i wont let them, and im overthinking but since i cant stop the overthinking from happening i need to just say the stupid thoughts. im literally excited for my life to change and to move and to meet new people so why is my stomach in knots. why have i not been able to eat. why do i feel like im losing the people i care about. theres literally no reason to feel this way and my brain can think through all of this rationally but my body and brain have never been good at connecting. i can have perfectly calm and neutral thoughts while my throat closes in and my breath quickens. pick a struggle!!!!!