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i really enjoy expressing myself in here, makes me feel sort of real, even though im pretty much terriefied this thoughts of mine will probably stay on the internet, forever. i know they are not a big deal, but my paranaia kicks in.
my emotions are sorta confused right now, im angry and dissapointmemt and deeply conflicted about myself, this thing, sickness or whatever it is, drags me down, and so down. i cant control it and i cant explain it i just have to swallow my pride and say it was because my own lazyness and completely my fault. i really dont feel people take this seriously , it makes me angry. im so angry. no matter how much i try to describe or explain this, i never feel taken seriously, of course. who could actually care? just its difficult to live in a world with this sort of disadvantage.
i really wish i could play with the same cards as them.
i need to be stronger.
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