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8/5/22🦋
People tend to try and ignore relapse, framing it as a self-absorbed evil thing to do. Its been years and I still cannot grasp what mindset one would need to be in to believe that giving into a hard and painful addiction, even after trying so hard to not because you don't want to upset the people around you, is a selfish act. Relapse is not a death sentence. It doesn't mean that everything is happening all over again.
It is a step in recovery. You cannot truly recover if you refuse to admit illness. Recovery is not a straight and narrow path. Distractions come and go, and may make you take a few steps back, but those steps won't ever matter if you still try to take steps forward. People cause pain and you are valid for wanting an escape from the evils of this world. It is not and will never be your fault if you didn't have any ideas for a better one. We all hurt within, but the only way to stop is to accept and adapt healthier mechanisms to cope, even if you may struggle along the way.
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