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8/4/22
I just had an interesting interaction with my best friend while I was digitally introducing her to another friend of mine, and being completely unbiasedly honest its probably going to leave me sleepless.
Whilst conversing she asked if me and this guy were dating, {after weeks of me already trying to explain the type of relationship we have, or the one that we don't as a matter of fact}, and I panicked, responding with an immediatent "fuck no," loudly in the microphone. it was followed by some more no's, some from him and some from me, but the reality that my reaction probably hurt him is setting in slowly and keeping me awake.
It was only a few minutes before he started panicking and left to get some water {or so he says}. I wish he knew how much I divinely cared about him and that I was just startled by her off-putting question.
Sleeplessly laying with distracting music doesn't seem much better than the overthinking I had been doing just a few minutes ago. My brain is scrambled with a ton of thoughts and they are only growing as the night goes on. I hope that someday I can admit what I have felt every day, night, hour and minute since we met. I'd rather lay in insomnia than sleep in lonely ignorance.
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