Fuck this omg - Entry 3

OMFGGGGG ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? okay so basically I went to my 3rd shift and it was mediocre or so I think it was. The thing is I have no idea how it went bc my brain is making up feeling and other thoughts and stuff that 'happened'. It's making up random shit to make it seem worse when it really wasn't. Now I really didn't want to consider it, despite missing it but I need some sort of fucking counselling when it comes to my anxiety. I feel so hostile and panicked out and its so fucking stupid like nothings even bad but my brain is making out as if it is I acc fucjing hate this bullshit makes me so angry. Okay welll maybe this is a minor step back, other than the fact im breaking tf out and I feel as if my legs are getting bigger and that my hair has stopped growing idk. My sister just gave me a doughnut ... I feel amazing. All of my troubles are gone. im amazing. yes I may look like a bisexual gremlin with acne who also has an overgrown wolfcut hence why I added the bisexual touch (I'm unlabled btw no bisexuality here). But this is just the beginning, this is part of the process, this is the before in those before and after glo up vids. Honestly, fuck caring at this point. as long as I maintain my 'I'm so professional but super nice' persona at work I should be fine -omg get me back in college I miss it-. Ive had a little panic sesh and ill probs have another one any minute now but non of that matters as long as I hold onto what I want. I know a few things I'd like in life. Who knows how long ill work that that dusty shoe shop, by January I might hand in the notice and work somewhere that will be more fitting for me. ehh who knows. OMFG DUDE ALSO I need to stop having crushes on video game character but dayyyum Ive legit had a huge fat obsessive but glorious crush on my guy Jacob from sc syndicate, idk anymore yolo we all die whatever he's fine as hell and he doesn't get enough appreciation. no I kid you not its also the worst type of crush. you're probably wondering Leoni why? WELL it's like the type that makes you so nervous like girl what am I nervous about a pixel? yeah I am even typing his name made me cringe but in a weirdly good way or a nervous way wtf is wrong with me just a few weeks ago I was in my Niko Bellic phase and I'll say now I had all the joy in the world typing that name he's so fucking hot and attractive and fine and idc if he's a game character his accent is beautiful. See? I typed all of that effortlessly but okay lemme try do this but with omfg I can't why why why hwy im sorry dude its not you its me you are very attractive and I even had a crush on you when I was gay or something like you was the only male I found attractive I kid you not. so yeah Jacob is fine as hell omfjfifbirgfigiuwgdhiuwqhdqwbkwq OMG ALSO THIS ONE IS MORBID. So hear me out. Trevor Philips. NAHHH dont judge but he's fineee ask or maybe its just Steven idk the voice the hands the humour so fine but I think out of all 3 ive mentioned tonight Ive had a crush on Jacob the longest. Now you're probs wondering how long Leoni? uhh well I admitted it in like 2020 but ive deffo liked him longer than that I remember vividly having a crush on him when I was younger I mean am I shocked, no? He's so frigging hot its not even funny anymorrjeihwuhdeuwhid. okay stop I need to like real people. wtf has this entry come to I'm posting this for the public, oh well I have no readers so it's fine, imma spill all my feelings and not worry at all... its 2:00am rn, must get sleep even tho I aint tired, bye.