Fucking chill out - Entry 1

Okay today is a new day...even though it feels like the same fucking day as yesterday except I'm going into work soon. That being at 12:45pm. I have to admit I like it, everyones nice and they were welcoming and it's the easiest job istg. But damn sometimes I get so fucking nervous like it's not even a difficult job and im out here having a full on panic attack whilst walking up that stupid fucking hill at full speed only to arrive in town 20 minutes early like wtf. It shit but I'm just going to power through it, remember why I'm doing this - which is so one day I can sit in an office in NYC or become some criminal journalist in NYC or before all that get one of those camper vans that you drive (a house on wheels basically) where I can drive to some desert place like Nevada or Colorado or anywhere more visually appealing than the UK. I want that life so bad ik rn working in a shoe shop isn't rlly gonna get me there straight away but it's progress. One day I just want to leave this town, this country and gtf out of my usual routines. Honestly today I need to embody someone confident, calm and direct if I want to survive the world of work. I mean I'm already claiming I need to survive ffs all I do is walk around a shop tidying up shoes its the easiest fucking job in the world omg. Honestly the best way I help myself if giving advice. Even if nobody will see this shit I'll give it anyway: The best way to not be nervous at a job is to pretend its all fake, like you are in a movie or a tv show and that your a really cool and confident character...A bit like Maddy from Euphoria. Now I'm not saying embody all of the traits of her bc she wasn't the best person, she had some flaws which I wouldn't want to have. But her confidence is fucking flawless like oh my fucking god how is she so comfortable in any social situation ffs. What I'm trying to say is you need to just. pretend you have it, fake it 'till you make it kinda thing. Literally put on your best performance, fool everyone that you are so confident. I'm pretty sure I can do that since I was good in drama class in high school. I have 25 minutes until I have to get ready, I was going to say I'm dreading it but I'm not. I have a good opportunity to make money even if its £5 an hour, but that'll do for me. I don't know when I'll be back but I know this was therapeutic asf so i guess whenever I feel like shit or if I have something on my mind I wanna rant about then I'll come back. This has acc been so fun okay until next time.....