Birthday Blues

For as long as I could remember, I've never really cared all that much about my birthday. If anything, I kinda dread it. It doesn't really have anything to do with a fear of lost time or death and all that. That kind of thing doesn't bother me. It's more to do with how whenever the day does roll around, nothing good rarely ever came of it. It's always some kind of family drama or some kind of unforeseen circumstance that hinders it. Either that or my mom uses it as an excuse to throw a party and invite all of her friends or something. As a result, I'm either apathetic or kinda melancholic. I think that's the word for it. It doesn't feel quite correct, but it works for all intents and purposes. Anyhow, at this point I always found it incredibly difficult to have an actual answer whenever anyone asks me for anything. If I tell them I don't want anything, they won't take no for an answer. And if I do come up with something, it's stupid or not satisfactory in any way. I can't really seem to win here, so I don't see a reason to bother with it at this point. It's just another day to me.

Goodnight and God Bless