just overwhelmed

i've just been feeling so overwhelmed by noise lately and i just want quiet. nothing against anyone honestly ..i think my brain is just...overwhelmed lately. my house is constantly a mess and asking isn't doing anything because honestly i feel like i shouldn't have to ask but it's whatever. i dont' know how to express myself anymore so i've just stayed quiet over things. which is why i don't really want anyone coming over. i'm completely embarressed by the way my house looks. and trying to do it alone is really overwhelming. but it's whatever i guess.the room needs cleaned,floors need swept and mopped and bathroom needs cleaned and i can't do it all by myself. so i dont' know what to do at this point. having someone else do it is just too much to ask i guess. tried getting help but everyone ive asked just ignores me or tries to tell me how to run my house ..so i'm just over it.it just...my depression has reached a whole new low and i'm just tired.by "help" i mean IHSS..they're no help really. they just want to tell you how to live your life and then get mad when you don't do what THEY say. so yeah that's about where the world is headed. if you're black you have to do what everyone says. period. and it's even worse when you're disabled.