im scared sometimes

As someone who's birthday is coming up, I'm scared for my future. I'm barely turning 17 but I can already feel the dread of soon becoming an adult. I thought things would come easy to me. I have no car (I haven't even tried to learn how to drive) and I don't have a job. My best friend is 14 and she is already learning how to drive and giving out resumes for jobs. Shes so much more prepared for life. I didn't let myself age with my age. I still feel 12,11,10, and 9. But I'm a 16-year-old with issues and problems and it's hard to do things. People say if I want to be successful in life, I have to push aside all of those things but how can I when it's hard to function. I can't even imagine having to leave my house after turning 18. I was held back a year in 2nd grade, and I feel that plays a huge part in my life. When I graduate high school, I will be 18. And in that summer, I will turn 19. Do you know how confusing that is to know that by that age a lot of people are already doing things with their lives. Sometimes I think death is better than growing up. I wish I didn't age. I wish I was younger again being in the comfort of my room without thinking. "Where will I be in 3 years, and how will io sustain myself". I can't go to my parents. financially or emotionally. They have been there for me so many times, so to have to move out and be on my own sounds terrifying. I'm terrified.