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Category: Life


future is that topic, you can talk about for eternity. 

i just have always felt like i dont know it. 
i never had those big dreams and plans as a kid like `i want to be a doctor` or something like that. 
i just always was like i was. 
i cant make a huge decisions. 
i cant even make decisions like what color shoes should i choose or some stupid shit like that. 
gonna start with that i never thought im gonna be alive right now. 
i always thought that this year of my life is my last. 
even a year ago. i was full on thinking that.
if you ask me now. i dont even know what now. 
i never thought i will have a place somewhere. 
or that i will perfectly fit somewhere. 
i still dont lol 
but i mean. its not looking so hopeless now i guess. 
but at the same time. 
i dont know how im going to feel about it in a year. 
these thoughts eat me alive every day. 

actually i was thinking about it because of this song (camden by gracie abrams) and how good she put everything i couldn't say into the words. even though i write myself, some hurtful topics i cant put into clear words and say how it is. sometimes i just dont want to admit it. 

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