Entry #008 - Microlabels

Does anybody remember this saying? When I was growing up, we didn't have an abundance of specific titles for the way we identified. Whether it was describing your fashion taste with a label, or finding a name for your sexual identity, it was almost... not encouraged? This topic only comes to mind because I hop onto Spacehey and scroll through the recent blog entries, and I notice a lot of younger folks applying dozens and dozens of labels onto themselves.

I'm not saying this is a problem! It's kind of neat, I guess. Maybe my generation was simply less introspective at that age. And perhaps we also felt a lot of unfair shame, and pressure to fit in with everybody else. The only labels that teens cared about were the brand names on their clothing. 

Being diagnosed with Asperger's was a source of deep shame and embarrassment for me. (We didn't call it Autism or even "mild Autism" at the time, just Asperger's.) Nobody wanted to be labeled as the weird kid with "ass burgers" and it was something I never spoke about. 

In the year 2022, I see so many teenagers very proudly and openly identifying as Autistic, and I think that's cool! I've fairly recently begun doing the same thing. I also learned that there is a lot of overlap between Autistic people and folks who don't wholly identify as cisgender. At this moment in time, I consider myself to be gender-non-conforming, or sometimes nonbinary. I really can't decide, and the nostalgic soup can label denier in me wants to say that it truly doesn't matter anyway. I'm just me. 

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I do almost wish I could have grown up with a wide selection of unique pride flags to choose from, and descriptive labels that could have helped me figure out who I was. I think I was a very confused child. Hell, I'm still a confused adult sometimes. I believe I am bisexual, but I will never be with a woman again after the last one traumatized me. 

She left bruises on me throughout the entire year we were together, but NOBODY CARED because I was supposed to be the "man" in that pathetic relationship. A few years later, I am so blessed to be engaged to a guy who is a far better match for me. Jacob and I wouldn't dream of harming one another. And sex with him is a lot more fun, God damn it! We're both technically bisexual, but people perceive us as a "gay relationship," so I never know what to call myself.  A bisexual homoromantic? 😆

July 1, 2022 | 8:02 PM PST