The last couple of days

The few days leading up to my party on Monday was pretty hectic. I'll probably have more parties (if I have a job). I hope people had fun, I did for sure. I think my friends are all just enjoyable people to be around. 

I smoked a bit (bday exception rule) and had a lot of weird realizations. That this is the aftermath of a party- it's over, the musics gone, the lights are out, I am no longer 18, and my friends know this. 

Growing up is scary cuz the more u mess up the more u get shat on for it. You are bound to make mistakes. You will be an idiot. You will be selfish. You will have problems. Although there is such a facade that you have to have your shit together once you reach a certain age. I think I will always be the way that I am now, except I hope im more responsible and less lazy. 

I saw a few friends yesterday. The people who ended up staying over from my party left around 4. We had breakfast (at like 1pm) at a diner. I saw some more friends later and we went out for some food. We were all being gay and flirty with each other (me vs 4 boys). (Tw: talking about men) there's this one guy that I really never paid too much attention to from my high school but we were being super nice around each other, and it was refreshing ? In a way? Im not sure how to describe it without tip toeing around how I feel. But im definitely confused. 

Im gonna be cringe but my heart is soooo crazy girl queen slay. I feel the way that I feel and do what I want to without thinking about every single factor possible. Rushing into things has always been such a problem for me and it sucks but I am the way that I am until I decide it's too painful to stay that way. 

My friend picked me up around 7 and we drove around for a bit till our other friend hit us up. We met up with him at his place for like an hour. Me and the other friend (I don't want to put names on my blog btw) ended up getting back in his car and hanging out in a park parking lot. Around 11:45 he started the car to drive around, but the battery ended up being dead. We both called a few friends to help, I really needed to pee, but one of his friends showed up to help. After realizing they needed cables to jump the car, my friend called his dad (dilf btw) and started the car. At this point it was around 1. Now I'm home peeing FINALLLYYY but I had fun. :)