Missing

I miss seeing you every morning. I miss waking up before the sun rose to see you crossing that damp, grassy field that we all congregated on. You probably didn't know it then, but I thought you were the most powerful, beautiful person I'd ever seen. The way you walked always exuded confidence and self-assurance. I saw you every morning and every morning without fail, I thought, 

"That is something worth protecting." I still think that, even if I'm not supposed to protect you. 

Love, when we were together, you had me on my knees and you didn't even know. It wasn't your full lips, your dark hair, or your delicate skin that got me-- your beauty is something I'd much rather be around long enough to see wash away, rather than something I want to cherish. It was your confidence, your knowledge. Both of which I was lacking, then. It was your aura that drew me in, nothing more. When I saw pink radiating from you, I knew I had no other destiny. 

Most of all, I miss the one thing we never had. Every time I spoke to you, your troubles broke my heart. I thought that if only I were stronger, if only I were free... You went through so much, love and yet you still owned the world. It's a shame that I can't miss when you were safe. When we were safe together. I was so preoccupied with making sure you were safe, I forgot what thin ice I walked on.

That time will come, though, I know it. There will be a moment when you and I can touch each other again and not worry about what's out there. I won't have to lay my life down for you and you won't have to sacrifice yourself for me. 

Forever yours, Hypatia