the betrayal that comes with silence

u ever wanna talk about something but you don't wanna make that something about u but it is about u but it's not your fault but it still hurts but you should keep it on the dl and even hinting at it can look like a leap for attention or a cry of desperation but i don't want to look like either of those things i just need to say something anything but nothing comes out and i could try talking to a person but that never turns out well because if u talk to a person you have now swayed their opinion on the situation they were never apart of even if u had no intention of making the other party look bad you just need to talk

you get all that?

n e wayz i certainly didn't need this rn but in some ways i did this to myself

bad brain day

probably going to be bad brain rest of the week

i miss my family

for the first time since being left alone i woke up late to feed mochi

i feel bad but he usually knows when i'm not feeling well in the head

if i could give advice to my 15 year old self

i would just say stay away from squirrels they may be cute and fun and make you feel like a whole person inside but (and this is a 100% true science fact) squirrel blood is made of heroin

addictive

i wish i wasn't gay

i went to a wedding with my family last week

every wedding we go to my mom the entire time talks about how she dreams of my big day

what colours i'll pick

food? dj or band?

and everytime she ends the imaginary scenario with her picture perfect dream guy for me

the description is different every time

i just nod my head and say

wouldnt that be perfect

because it would be

but it won't ever happen

i can't achieve her picture perfect

i've always dreamed of my wedding though

i think weddings are old fashioned and kinda lame but doesn't mean i don't want one!

teal and brown would be the colours

chocolate brown and veridian teal to be more exact

i want to walk down the isle with a long flowing dress but after change into a suit

genderfluid even when getting married

flowers on the table cannot be bigger than eye line and will be a mix of gardenias and whatever flowers my spouse likes

midnight bar of course italian tradition

and i want to break plates and exchange crowns

mix of both cultural identities i got going on

(sorry to my turkish blood i've never been to a turkish wedding)

i want cheesy wedding videos to be played for the crowd

i want a wedding same day painter to paint us a picture

so many things

i also don't want to get married till late in life

when everything is boring and might aswell have a big event

i don't even know if i legally want to be married

i just want the party lol

n e wayz ima go smoke my brains out

toodles4now

3 Kudos

Comments

Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )