describing depression

Depression is a lot of things, and every person suffering it experiences the symptoms differently. For me, id like to take the cathartic moment to detail how my depression feels.

Depression for me is an intense ever-present apathy, a shroud on my emotions and experiences, a dull sedative that lulls my every action and feeling. It is almost as if a straw sucked at every fiber of my being, leaving a few drops of sadness and disappointment at the bottom of an empty shell of a body. Its a passive neglect of my emotions, causing all feeling to be funneled through a lens of grayscale.  Its a weight i carry every minute, a narrow bridge of beckoning despair. Every ounce of motivation is sapped out of me, sifted through the fragile holes in my psyche. The few things and people around me as support try to block the holes, but they only slow the inevitable  drain. It is exhausting to live with, simply put. I cannot tell if it is more the absence of something, ir the presence of something new. Maybe a little bit of both. Emptiness, lack of being, hollow, blank.