Music making + home depot daddies + finch car ride

Im trying not to use words that will discourage me from continuing although that's how i feel. There are a lot of things that I feel heavily right now, that I could totally put into a song and it would be interesting and captivating enough merely out of my intense emotion/interest, yet I think my brain is just in a scramble. Like I can't put the feelings into thoughts into words into coherent words. 

I don't want to sound cringe like gabble Hanna  what if I'm the monstar <\3 but also don't want to sound like too technical or poetic. I'm sure this will be easier once I start writing more. I always forget the writing process goes: put scramble into paper, make a rough draft, make a coherent draft, edit to make a good draft, edit technical stuff into or out if it, then go over everything and add things as needed. Then one final edit. 

Songwriting for me so far has been taking thoughts out of my diary and writing them into smaller sentences. I need to remember about the writing process because I keep trying to jump straight to the final copy, which time and time again has shown me that I need to put the scramble down first. 

My day was pretty alright. I woke up at 11, left for work at 11:45, worked 12-8 with intense fucking period cramps(litersllt the worst), got some girl to be mad at me over balloons (grow up), went to Home Depot after my shift, went to gym, hung out with childhood friend, got home at 1:30, and had a random call with another friend. 

Going to Home Depot was so much fun. I have very pink hair and also I am very obviously a hot and sexy woman so everyone was so confused to see me in there. Like, not even in a "everything is about me" kind of way, but I had a lot of people stare at me as if they were thinking LOL, what the hell is SHE doing here????? 

Personally I don't think there is one type of person to be at Home Depot. But clearly to the workers and fathers of 3 (tbh dilfs) they think there is. I went after my shift as I waited for my dad to pick me up because I didn't want to stand in the rain and also i wanted to make a shelf on my window for eva to sit on. She keeps trying to sit on my windowsill but it's literally 1cm wide and also occupied by gay Elsa and her glass turtle gf. I checked out some wood and why is it so expensive it is literally tree. Then I had the idea to carve out a cool design into the wood so I'm practically gonna go back and buy a saw to cut up the wood, and I'm gonna get some tools from work to help with the carving. Here I am again starting another project while my basement filled with unfinished ones silently weeps. I'm sorry Megan fox Jennifer's body painting. One day i will finish u. 

The gym was cool. Today was my target day; working on areas I wanna focus more time into aka slimming down my love handles, working on my lower back, bulking up my triceps, and glutes. I don't know the technical term for love handles. I don't exactly have a workout schedule set out yet, but I always start with 15 min of cardio (I love seeing how much longer I can run for. When I started last week I could barely run for a minute but now I'm up to five minutes of straight up running. Doesn't really seem like that much but I used to be able to run for 15 min straight without stopping. Hoping i get to that again cuz it was sick) then depending on the day it's chest and arms (which I want to isolate my bicep and triceps but that's for when they're used to being in the gym again), legs, back and shoulders, and then target. Saturday and sundays are my rest days and I'm planning on having two target days a week? I need to sort it out more. 

My friend picked me up straight from the gym. It was a lot of fun. He asked if I was hungry (the answer was fuck yah) and he suggested we go grab some noodles. I'm not too picky so I said yah girl and we went to the finch area for them. It was like a twenty minute drive, and he picked me up straight from the gym at 10, so we got there around 10:20. We looked for parking which was impossible to find cuz why r we practically on the outskirts of (redacted city that I live in) on a Friday night. OF COURSE IT QAS GOING TO HE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND PARKINF IDK WHY WE THOUGJT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GO LOL. I felt so bad, he drove around for literally 30 minutes to park, and he could've parallel parked between two cars but he decided against it. Not my car so I did make fun of him for it but ultimately did not care. Plus I enjoyed the struggle LOL. Minus the whole actually being eaten alive by my uterus cuz I only ate a peanut butter sandwich throughout the entire day. Anyways around 11 we gave up and ended up going to a Persian sandwich place, also in the finch area but they had customer parking. This is funny because there is the same persian sandwich place literally right beside my house. We drove back up to a park near my old high school and ate there. The sandwich was so fcking good. I saved some for tmro. We talked about a lot of things. Near the end it started to get a bit existential and deep and i remember thinking "I wish u didn't bring that up right now". I thought that for a number of reasons, mainly because what we were talking about was slightly painful, but also I had a weird realization mid conversation. This guy is kinda back in my life out of nowhere and I'm not sure for how long and for what purpose but I couldn't help but worry (can't really explain this much further). He yawned and I told him I didn't want him to be tired and driving, so we headed back home around 1:10. My mom texted me "Shirley!!" The second we decided to drive back lolol. I ended up back home around 1:20-1:30 ish then got on a phone call with a close friend. The call ended around maybe 3 ish and now I'm here. 

My puppy is sleeping beside me. She smells so terrible. As I'm typing this she is snoring louder than she did before. I love u kitty hazel my teddie bear<3 

I also passed my g2 test not sure if I mentioned that anywhere. Girlboss! First try! I was sure I failed it cuz my parking was shit so I was genuinely surprised I passed LOL. Stay off the roads!! Cool hot sexy smart girl coming through to distract u therefore u rear end someone!! 

Goodnight!