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okay so in this blog entry i want to talk about an important topic for me, which is discovering my sexuality: how i did it, when it happened, the difficulty of coming to terms with it, labels and then coming out to myself and my friends.
okay so everything started in middle school, i was exposed to social media pretty young and now looking back i think i've always been kinda informed to the subject of the lgbtq+ community thanks to this exposure.
i think i started taking an interest in the life of this influencer.
she was my age and when she was 12 she came out as bisexual and revealed that she was in a relationship with this other girl.
i was weirdly obsessed with her gf like i really liked her (but at the time i thought it was just kinda like having a friend, you like them but in a not romantic/sexual way).
so thats when i first started to learn more abt the community and i firmly believed i was just an ally.
I also started watching youtube more and more everyday.
i watched lots of videos some including bisexual creators.
i think it was around that time, if not earlier, that one of my friends started to get suspicious and asked me if i was bisexual which i don't remember what my response was but i'm sure i denied being bi.
so when i was about 12 (going on 13) i started searching 'girls kissing' and stuff (LMAO) and yk i was starting to question if i was looking at boys or girls or both too.
so for a long time i watched videos, i was basically in love with this girl (the influencer's gf ) and kept informing and educating myself on the topic.
so when i was around 13 i started taking quizzes because i had realised that i was not straight and i started watching lots of creators that were part of the lgbtq+ community.
and at this point i'm pretty sure i knew i was not straight which took me a lot of time to realise but yeah (a huge Nick Nelson kinnie here).
so it's now the beginning of high school and i befriend this bisexual girl, i also fell for a straight girl (yeah not cute, she was my friend and i had to distance myself cuz i was too scared to tell her)
we start talking more and more and i finally accept myself and on xmas (in 2018) i come out to my friend as bisexual (but she already kinda knew bc i told her i was struggling with my sexuality).
later on i started coming out to all of my friends, little by little, until i was out to basically everyone (except my parents).
so now i'm 17, almost 18, and i don't use labels anymore but i've been kinda confused lately because i feel like using labels again but it's hard accepting a new label (which would be the pansexual one).
i also finally realised that i am scared to come out and it's not "none of my parent's business".
If i ever come out to my parents i'll let you know but i don't think i will do that unless i start dating someone because i feel like that's just right for me.
i hope this helped someone and if you ever need support or anything, feel free to comment:)
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