20220515: Not Baller Moment (Anxious)

everytime i m given the chance to slack off i TAKE IT!!! viciously!!! i shake it vigorously n yet i m always so anxious when i m not actively doing work bc i feel like i will in fact be called out. most of the time it is reasonable because i slack off a LOT when i m most definitely not meant to. but also when i am allowed to i cant enjoy myself anymore and its #concernnign but i am much too nxious about getting caught to dwell n reflect on my behaviour. W.