Rant

How am I supposed to have fun at the family trip YOU planned when first of all you couldn't even make it on time second yelled at me and threatened to beat the shit out of me and then acted like nothing was wrong and thirdly didn't even give me time to go on rides and lastly you still wanted to leave early from the rodeo you wanted to go to not me. I couldn't enjoy what I wanted to do and not even what you wanted to do and then you still expect me to be in a good mood HELL NO I am exhausted and just mentally drained I don't know how much more I can take you still had the audacity to call me complicated you say I'm like my birth giver when you are the one who acts more like her "I'm trying to change" my fucking ass I want to die already I hate it here I will never kill myself but god damn do I wish someone would kill me everyday is a struggle for me, my body aches my head throbs I'm in pain physicality and mentally 24/7 I DONT WANT TO BE HERE ANYMOREEEE