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TW! the usual: nsfw, cheating, suicide, sexual assault.
got a girlfriend 3 months ago, maybe the happiest ive felt in 6 years! mood improved, life was good, until it wasnt, and shit got hard for the both of us, and her ex started fucking with her brain more, and he ends up in the hospital, gets out, we are going through rocky times, we break up, get back together, he sexually assaults her and 2 weeks later she cheats on me sucking his dick. (was informed that it wasnt fun but yknow. she sucks his dick. consentually. i dont care if it was fun, but wasnt assault/rape accoridng to her own words). Then, we break up. but she wants to, “stay friends”
so. i ended up oblidging her over the weekend. i was in some moments of weakness and lonelyness. we dont live closeby, so its we just chat online mostly unless we are hanging out irl, which ofc we arnt now. shittiest weekend ever, great, littered with arguements about if we should be friends. Today, I broke her stamina. She kept saying i should stay, that we should stay friends, that she was still trying and wanted to right things. Now, i also wanted to be more than friends. in the beginning, i didnt wanna let the shitty thing they did get between our relationship. but then we broke up, cuz it was the last straw for her. and ending it on that note, fucking sucked. i lost a lot of respect for her as a person in hindsight, and our dynamic was thrown off. So. i tried again. i tried today to stop being friends. it was a 2 hour long arguement, of back and forth typing. god. every time we are both emotionally drajned, but she lasts longer and convinces me to stay. doesnt helpt that im depressed and shes like my only close friend rn… but the more i thought anout it, the more i was uncomfortable with being friends. so. i cut it off, and lost one of my last friends, definately my closest one. in a way, i had obviously already lost her, but now, its gonnna be more complicated. ive felt an urge to cut it off and finish this. she got quiet at the end. i know this hurts her too, and god i feel selfish. but im so hurt, i cant be friends rn. i still have feelings too. that makes it all just worse
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Stephdc78
From what I read; it seems that she has some issues that she needs to work out. It looks like she wanted to have her cake and eat it too (wanting to have that guy, and string you along). As hard as it will be to break it off;... it will be healthier for you (mentally and emotionally) in the long run. Find someone (a friend or therapist) to talk with and lean on for support. Hey, I go to a therapist (alone) and I am Married. Relationships will be rough from time to time, but they should never be allowed to toxically exist.
I pray that you find peace with yourself, and with finding closure in that relationship.
God Bless.
Roy
It's not your fault, it never was your fault. From the few blogs I've read it seems you were a pretty great partner. If you don't want to be friends with her, she should accept that. I've met some manupilative people who begged me to stay when I called them out. She may just feel guilty but if you feel what's best is you distancing or/and ending the friendship, than that's what's best. I hope you feel better man!
thank you for the support :,)
by diogenes; ; Report
bonkmaykr
None of this is your fault. She was playing with your emotions, and you aren't the first person to fall for whores like her.
I've met more than a few guys who have issues like this (am gay btw). Not to the same deliberate extent as her, but still nonetheless. People who had double relationships behind my back, not even polyamory, just straight up cheating because they wanted sexual attention and didn't care about me as a person at all. I can think of one guy in particular, but I don't talk with them anymore.
Last guy I was with didn't cheat, but he sure as hell was the most manipulative and spiteful person I know to this very day. I don't talk to him anymore, and I haven't had a boyfriend since. I've found a few people I like who I can actually trust this time around, but they were too good for me.
Shit happens and you'll eventually learn the warning signs with experience if you haven't already, but some people really don't show their true colors until it's too late. It's not your fault she treated you that way. I don't think you should stay friends either, she sounds incredibly untrustworthy and not worth your time.
Shrimp
man that sounds awful. i hope you know that your feelings are valid and its okay to only think about yourself sometimes, especially when it comes to your feelings. i completely understand how you feel.