Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke - summary and review

in my own words, the story went like this. (spoiler alert. obviously. TW; graphic scenes, animal abuse, and child abuse and death.)

a woman named agnes is trying to sell an apple peeler on an LGBT website. a woman named zoe contacts her, in hopes of purchasing it. it is soon revealed that agnes was only selling it to get the money to pay rent. zoe then tells agnes to keep the apple peeler (because it has sentimental value to agnes) and sends her money to pay rent for that month. they talk more, and fall in love. agnes wants to be in a "relationship" with zoe, so zoe has her sign a contract saying that agnes will fully submit to zoe, doing everything she asks in exchange for zoe taking full care and responsibility of agnes. zoe knows everything about what agnes does every day, and starts to give her tasks. they start simple- wearing a certain color to work that day- but quickly escalate. she had her leave her undergarments in public, and eventually, kill a small animal. this freaks out agnes, and she calls the whole thing off, leaving zoe. zoe isn't very phased by this, figuring she would have left since the beginning. about a month later, agnes comes back, apologizing for leaving so suddenly, and goes on to explain how zoe, in her core, isn't a bad person. she justifies zoe's actions by explaining how people out there can be much worse. she tells a story she saw on the news as an example, an older brother crucified his infant brother. zoe responds with the same feelings, telling her the contract is back on, but not making agnes officially sign again. now, throughout the story, agnes expresses her want to have a child. she wants to have a child badly. zoe goes on to tell her children are like parasites living inside human bodies. zoe gives her a task to get sick, to get a parasite. agnes does exactly as zoe told her to. she goes to a butcher, and buys one pound of raw meat. she leaves it outside for 48h, and eats it raw at the end of the second day. it describes this in a painful amount of detail. now, agnes has a tapeworm, and treats it as if it were a real pregnency, naming the tapeworm, imagining a future with the tapeworm. zoe then gets scared off by agnes's strange behaviors, calling the whole thing off and leaving. she doesn't respond to agnes for the rest of the story. agnes then passes the tapeworm on the bathroom floor. she goes on to treat the tapeworm like a human baby, taking care of it and sleeping with it every night. at the end, agnes crawls into a closet cradling the tapeworm with the apple peeler, and asks herself "what have i done today to deserve my eyes?" (a question frequently asked by zoe.) then the story ends.

my interpretation of this story is most likely very different from those who have read it. i think, at the end, agnes ate her "child" (there's a reason why i think that, but you'd have to  read the book to know why.) and carved her eyes out with the apple peeler. this story was told and executed in an amazing manner, reading like emails and texts. it really got to me, and had me up at night thinking about it. some things are extremely vague about this book, but the important things are explained in great, pretty disgusting detail. this book hooked me in, and i read it all in one sitting. i would rate it 4/5 stars. i didn't expect much from this book, and was pleasantly- or the opposite- surprised. i recommend reading this book yourself, and not taking my word on it, because it has very mixed reviews, and it could be your favorite thing, or least favorite. either way, i think it's worth the read, and i will be checking out other titles by this author. now i ask you,

what have you done today to deserve your eyes?

this is Jag, signing off.