A Complicated Relationship

Relationships can be complicated sometimes. I'm an emotional person, if you couldn't tell. I enjoy spending time with my partner, I enjoy the cute pet names, I enjoy kisses and hand holding, is that a crime? I don't think so. On the other hand, my partner doesn't enjoy PDA which is okay! But they aren't the best with emotional/romantic connections. This was causing a disconnect between us, to the point where we almost ended things.

But something in me said to hang on. Why?

What about this person is making me hold on? This isn't typical of me, if I'm having problems and I have a disconnect with someone, I'll usually end things. What about them told me to stay? I guess I see something with them, something good, something long term. Or I'm just signing myself up for some heart break. Either way, I learned something today; sometimes you are gonna see differences in your partner from yourself, you can either drop them, or sit down with them and say "how are we gonna take this on". There isn't a right or wrong choice, it just depends on the person.

Other than that, I'm doing a bit better! I have a feeling that this disconnect mightve been weighing on me, and with that combined with mental illness, it led to a big sad sandwich! But I'm feeling better, I'm trying to surround myself with people who better my mental state. I'm going to the beach Saturday with my partner, and hopefully going to a concert next week! I'm trying to look for things to be happy about, like wearing my favorite color eyeshadow today! It might seem small, but sometimes the small things help the most!

This is an oddly positive post for me, I guess that convo with my partner (referred to as A from now on) really helped. I'm glad! I'll check in with you all tomorrow perhaps, see ya!

- <3