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Category: Friends

missing old friends

i miss my old friend.

we almost completely stopped talking.
i started distancing myself after she basically told me to find new friends.
i guess it's because she started hanging out with this other girl and she no longer needed me.
why did she need me when she was alone?
anyways im glad she had somebody else, thats not the issue at all, i do realise that i sometimes tend to be dependent on other people, the thing is that i was starting to be in a massive depressive state cuz i never prioritised myself and at one point i had suppressed all of my actual feeling just to help her and be there for her.
so yeah:)
also she became friends again with a person that hurt me a lot and i told her i wouldnt be comfortable with it but i also respected her decision but i knew that eventually we would fall apart.
idk its kinda sad but i cant help being happy because for the first time in my life i am not relying on anyone/anything to be happy and i am putting my own needs before anyone.
i also feel that i still want to be her friend but it just feels forced and different.
i dont really know what i should do but i'm taking my time and hopefully there won't be any drama because i don't know if i can handle it now that i am doing okay.
oh god, this is so messy yet so simple.
i feel like im missing the last piece to the puzzle.
like i asked her to hang out so it's not like i am completely cutting her of i just needed some time to process things i guess and now i am okay.
i just wish she'd be more interested in me more;(
but i guess thats life and we always attract the same situation or people until we learn our lesson.




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