gluttony

made a cool outfit :+10 swag

fought with mom : -5 mood 

got nails done : +5 swag

saw shirley : +100 mood

smoked and had fun : +10 swag +15 fun

binge ate a bunch of sweets : -25 mood

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so ya was decent im a bit of a glutton though

for everything 

once me and ryan were talking about the 7 deadly sins (because we r gay) and we established that im gluttony. which at first i was like no i'm probably greed. but then i really sat on it and no i'm totally gluttony.

because i feel greed is never having enough 

and gluttony is always craving more

✨similar but not the same✨

i'm a glutton for everything 

punishment? i always do things i know will get people mad at me or thrill seek for everything because i crave more excitement.

food? oh hell yeah everytime i eat something there is a voice in my head that says you need to eat as much of this as you can because what if you never get to eat it again. which doesn't make sense but i've never really been in charge of what i eat. for a while it's because i wasn't trusted in the kitchen (i suck so bad at cooking) but after i developed a fear of eating my own food. which sounds crazy but i think it's because i can't smell and a lot of % of taste is smell so when i cook i've often used expired ingredients because i can't smell that they are rotten.

this has happen so many times i now avoid cooking at all costs 

so i binge food whenever i can to avoid needing to cook!

it's very strange and very unhealthy but idk how to fix it and my parents know and just don't really care. 

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what else am i a glutton for might u ask! 

material things! which is why i mistaken myself as greed!

i won't incriminate myself but let's just say i'm a great borrower ✨

and have been my whole life 

it's very easy to be inconspicuous 

and people are very easy to trick once you get their patterns 

i'm like a bird i see something shiny that i won't even need and just feel a primal urge to have it. i'll be devastated if i don't get it. 

i have no space anymore because my room is filled with things i'll never use! i often give random trinkets from my room away to friends because i like to think they see that thing and get reminded of me. 

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i feel my gluttony stems from my adhd

serotonin is something i lack in my brain but i know some of the cheat codes to boost production for a small amount of time! 

yummy foods, obtaining new material possessions, being near friends, adrenaline, drugs and my cat.

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so i try and consume all those things as much as possible so that i have enough serotonin to keep me out of a very bad depressive state which chews me up and leave me rotten in my bed 

adhd is so cruel 

well my meds are kicking in so ima head 2 bed

goodnight blog✨

toodles4now ~~~xoxo