rupert from family guy

this isnt about him in particular, i had a friend i named after rupert. he has been the only person i have loved. so much that years later i lament losing his friendship. its been years & it still hurts so fucking bad. our memories do nothing but pick at the already raw scars. ive never felt anything as good as that friendship & i probably wont given how my life has progressed. i wish me writing this somehow compels him to reach out to me with that love he once had for me.with that adoration that made me feel like i needed nothing else in life. but my reality is so far from this. as much as my body craves that feeling, it doesnt exist anymore. the love & connection we once had are as far gone as dinosaurs. this makes no sense i know i write these for me to look back at but i also wish someone would read this & fucking talk to me. conversations seem foreign & im so desperate for some. so desperate to have the wight of my reality shifted atleast a tiny bit by another human being. but all we are now is monsters. a whole bunch of monsters only capable of being hurt & hurting others.