Life Life Life....

Have not put down my feelings & thoughts for A while. Ive been dealing with so much the past 5 years. I know I am strong & all that . Its so hard toos keep my head ups. I know that I am one the sweetheart kinda caring loveing preason that people just keep want toos use & play mind games with. Ive already been thru so much in my life. & deal with toos much shit that it seem no really see me for me they all about them selfs & its piss me the hell off. My boyfriend dose really seem toos be the only toos understand me tbh. Im just so scared Im going toos lose myself all over again & lose the ones I know care & do love me for me. I know I do hate myself & who I am times. I know I do not know who I am a lot & why I dont understand why I have the mental heath problems that I do. It makes it so hard for me toos deal with myself & the running thoughts thats go thru my head that never stop unless Im smokeing weed or vaping CBD. Being the way I am makes it so much harder toos trust anyone cuz I know it just that hard toos get hurt & used All I can do is be strong & try not toos give ups....