daily blogs #9

never thought ill make 9 of these in a row, to be honest i wouldve stopped the streak a couple of days ago. i have lost the initial passion to write. i dont really know what i even want to say anymore & i dont want to keep mentioning the fact that im so alone in life its practically painful. i dont want these blogs to be a reminder of how unnoticed i am. so lets change the subject, i started a book yesterday that has already been traumatic for me. its called still beating by jennifer hartmann & yes tik tok made me buy it. i want to just read it all in one sitting but i cant, for my mental health but also because im going on vacation in a couple of weeks & want to read it then. im going to the beach & im glad that my days go by fast because i cant wait. i cant wait for the lonesome peace & serenity ill feel. part of me still desires that a specific someone would text me & act like he cares about me, so maybe i can invite him over & i wouldnt have to spend my time all alone. but yea i doubt this desire of not being alone will be quenched anytime soon, but hey, atleast ill see the ocean soon.