something strange happened part 17

something strange happened I have this thought of a guy that is cute there is no lie in that. but the endless possibilities when I'm his girlfriend the feeling of safety that I so long for, knowing somebody is going to be there. but it's wrong cus I'm expecting something from a person and that always ends up disappointing. but it is so nice to daydream about it thinking about al the people who would try to break us apart. but we know we have each other and don't care about the rest. us against the world I think if I could get in his heart this could be my reason to come home. but as much I'm in a rush because I'm leaving my heart can't go through something like that again and I know if the other guy acted strange again all the progress I made will be for nothing and I will be stuck again but the thought of making him jealous is so satisfying cus i know he will be mad  6 months to get over this person that wasn't even my boyfriend ridiculous right? but it is nice to know my heart wants to start again it. feels nice, but I don't wanna make the same mistakes again falling for an image of someone is that i made up in my head that's what will break you. that's why im taking it slow. to focus on myself it's a good thing that I'm open for something new but that person need to  put on a lot of work showing that he is worth my time. knowing he is a player i jst hate that i'm easy because I never experienced thing with physical touch so I wanna explore but not everyone is worth exploring with. that's is why they say a relationship is better so we can experience what we call ''trust'' I think its the first step of trust issues but that could just be me. my point is don't fall to quick on a image of someone it's a trap he is a player and is young he won't be in a relationship when I'm back because summer is around the corner so why would he. if we ever get a chance to be together  i hope he is more grown but if talked to him and we think the same about relationships so he is at the end of the day a nice person but its still a boy don't get fooled by that moral of the story if he would ever try to get with me I wont say no and I hope that when I'm back i can give him that hint cus right now I need to be focusing on me myself and i