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Midnight Sun has been awful. I hate to admit this but sometimes I see myself in Bella a teeny bit. At least in her trauma responses. I was a major people pleaser and it wore me down. I wasn't selfless I was just scared. All the time.
I also see my ex-mom in how Bella is written in both Midnight Sun and Twilight. She has this false humility and arrogance that just feels like nails on a chalkboard. Everything revolves around Bella. Like I said in a previous entry it's a narcissists wet dream.
I may have mentioned before that when I read Twilight in high school it helped normalize my teacher, L, trying to treat me like a girlfriend. At the time I was scared and confused. Then I read Twilight and it made sense. Of course this is the way it should be. It's just like Bella and Edward. I'm supposed to be scared. This is normal. This is fine.
I have a lot of hate for this series. I have a lot of hate and sympathy for Stephanie. But I am DETERMINED to finish this damn book! Just out of pure spite at this point.
Alright, rant over.
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