I don't really care anymore

By "I don't really care anymore", I mean that everything is no longer interesting, and nothing is ever interesting, and nothing even CAN be interesting to me. Like, when you're 40 stories up and see the entirety of Toronto, you're not just "whatever" about it. It's beautiful. You're supposed to tear up and pee your pants a little. Or when you look at the way someone sleeps near you. You know its a moment of intimacy, that this living soul is close to you now and will want to be close to you forever, and you love them you them you love them you love them so much but you just cant seem to find it as beautiful as its supposed to be. Or when you look at an artwork that just doesnt do anything for you, but you know that your literal way of thinking is wrong, because its amazing, spectacular, stunning, evoking, and incredible to everyone else. 

For a bit I thought maybe I was just, really.. different? Like, I just cant see how beautiful the world is like everyone else, but I know it is beautiful. I just don't get that emotional response. And its such a weird thing, because I am such an emotional person. I reflect so much on my life and actions. I cry like so fcking much. TIK TOK USERS STAY AWAY and im acc an empath. I'm not as deep as I used to be when I was 12, which was actually deep as shit, but that was because I was going through a lot, including GIRL puberty. So it sucked a lot and I learned a lot about my existence and shit. But i've sort of gone bimbo in the thought department and I dont know why. 

I think I watched it in an asap science video, or maybe read it online somewhere, but i saW SOMething that said cannabis sort of kills your "care" chunk. like, somehow weed just dulls away the interesting or spark from everything. So maybe its that for me. 

I think there was a time where i romanticized the shit out of everything, and ive been really trying to do that now. when i started to noticed i didnt care about most things anymore, like maybe a few weeks ago, ive been trying to make myself care. and thats how i know i dont care, because i literally have to try. also ive been saying i dont care, like i dont care about my friends wellbeings or about how i get to see the city from that high or art or whatever. let me be clear- I care incredibly deeply about the people around me. I am so so grateful for all that I have, you have no idea. And I do care about everything. I mean that I just cant seem to find the beauty in a moment of time. SO its like I do care about the stuff, but i cant really appreciate it for what it is because i literally just can't. 

does anyone else feel this way. or am i truly the main character. plz . i have to know