Well since I'm condemned to live in solitude I might as well just continue practicing guitar. Should I embrace the absurdity? Nothing makes sense from this angle.

At least I can express who I truly am with my guitar and it's always there for me unlike people who come and go and don't understand me. Yet I still have the drive to continue to refine my guitar technique and discover new ideas along the way. Life is so confusing from this angle. It doesn't make any sense. I'm playing a tug of war with how I perceive things. Part of me tries to find direction and purpose but it's not there even when I see potential for it. The other part of me lives in absurdity and erratic behavior. If I let it fully come to the surface I would probably be locked up in an insane asylum or worse. Yet I feel inhibited and I'm bursting at the seams to go completely nuts especially living alone in this cage.