on the nuance of death

its hard to find immediate people to talk about death with because of how touchy, gloomy, and misunderstood the subject is. none of which is anyone's fault -- death is understandably scary.

but after reading multiple testimonies on near-death experiences, post-death theories, etc., i've come to terms with that death is much easier than life in that we don't have to lift a finger once we are long gone.

one, literally because rigor mortis and the death of consciousness will not allow us to move at will. the concept of effort w/ intent no longer applies. two, people who have gone through temporary death states have said its mostly dreamlike. in other times, its just the comfort of the void. (i wish i had sources here but i keep forgetting to save them on occasion).

i've also had my fair share of life lost. my good cousin and my bestfriend had tickets to heaven forced onto them because of illness. on the note of illness, hospice caretakes and morticians say that the last few moments before death are often of immense bliss. 

so i've come to terms with that death is kinder than life. not that life has no bearing or importance, in fact i do believe that thanks to death, it becomes much more worthwhile. but no one really talks about this because we never expect it to happen to us early. death has a kind of nuance that is only understood after you've lived a life of loss? be it literal or figurative. be it that people pass or your dreams don't transfigure. be it that innocence fades early or life is lived seemingly too late.

maybe it's that a significant part of life's features is decay, often counted in time spent. does this imply death (or as per other paths of faith call it, eternal life) is the supposed reward? because if that's the case, then there is no afterlife -- only a continuation of life in a different state. while science has only barely scratched the surface of this topic, maybe consciousness is more tangible than we think? 

oh well. on a personal note, i mostly adhere to reincarnation because of the catharsis that comes with it, but if that's not the case, then i only hope it brings me peace.

that alone would be enough.