Gorbachev's pork chop fiasco

What a dirty trick! I asked for marshmallows and Gorbachev gave me one of his signature pork chops! This is the last straw. I'm going to have a little chat with the ambassador about this. Last I checked this was America and if a wretched geezer tries to pull the wall over your eyes it is customary that you do them in with an old fashioned pig skin right to the groin. Ouch! That hurts you know! -is what he would say. It's a shame that it would come to this but you know what they say, "Oh well!". Maybe you should learn some proper etiquette before disrespecting your shoe shining neighbor. What's that you say? You'd rather pretend you're a potato bug, dance around and scat the 'Tato Bug Bounce? Well dag nabbit jack rabbit, I have some astroturf leftover from the smurf themed miniature golf tournament so it'd be easier on your pesky old corns while we cut a rug. If grandma could only see us now, she would be so proud. Well that was downright satisfying. Much more gratifying and more humane than harassing each other with the remains of hacked up pig carcasses.