Report Blog Entry
My dad was being pissy at me for forgetting to do something, it was to make a table on Excel. Yeah I forgot it do it. I’ve been trying to get into the habit of revising, but perhaps that is useless seeing as I won’t get anywhere in life. I guess there’s no point in trying to make excuses.
I guess he’s right, I just act like I’m so hard done by. I feel like I always play victim. Perhaps I’m just begging for people’s sympathy to make myself feel validated and loved when I really don’t deserve it.
My “confidence” is just a front, inside I’m a shy mess that deserves to be left alone, I’m a liar for this. I don’t think I deserve to be cared for, I don’t know why people should care about me, I’m just another passerby, another stranger on the street.
I’m another weirdo on the internet, blogging about their feelings and telling the world they wish they could feel nothing, because why do I need to feel? Why should I be able to feel undeserving happiness? I fear feeling happy. I’d choose numbness over happiness any day, but I feel too much, and I feel others’ pain too, and make it my own problem.
I’m just grasping out for your sympathy, reaching out for something that you really shouldn’t tempt me with. Don’t make me like it, because then I’ll want it and then I’ll feel sad when it’s gone.
I think I should keep away from you, and my friends. I feel so isolated by my own relatives, I feel so distant from them. I might as well be an alien they were forced to take care of.
I’m definitely feeding off of other people’s emotions. I’m a monster that deserves to be quickly put down.
Comments
Comments disabled.