Cut my hands off to stop me from ending my sobriety

Break my ribs as you pray for a heart to beat again, and try as you might, this being is never waking from their death-like sleep again. 

Hear the sirens wail and echo through down the rain-soaked roads that it rumbles through. 

Declare my heart as legally stopped and set me alight, doused in gasoline. 

I am so insignificant, there's no need in notifying anyone of my death. Nobody talks to me anyways, so I'm just a background noise, or something to channel the worlds pity onto. 

My name should taste bitter in the mouths of those who have wronged me. 

I'm such a narcissist that I don't even have a mirror in my bedroom.

Inside my skull, it is nothing but decay and sadness.

I watch like an inanimate object, always there but never usually interacted with unless I have something of little value. I am here for the sole purpose of holding others people's emotional fucking baggage, and I hate it. 

Even if I could seek salvation from this damned earth, I wouldn't take it for the sole reason of a higher power existing to take me from this earth. 

All I do is lay in the comfort of my bed, hold a bar of connection that is never even used for its intended purpose, and cry. 

I'm pathetic and I don't even deserve to be here. 

Sitting in my room, all I can think of how grateful someone else would be to have been in my exact spot. Maybe if we swapped places, I would have something to cry about that wasn't a made up scenario or to do with my inner repulsive nature. 

I haven't been myself in what feels to be eternity, and all I want is for someone to hold a meaningful conversation with me that didn't make me feel like I was just another person in someone's contacts list. 

I'm screaming at an empty sky for no reason other than the extent of my own loneliness. 

Break my body, so it matches my mind.

Take my eyes from me and fill my skull with acids and watch as my brain physically corrodes, because it already has internally.

I'm too pretentious for my own fucking good.