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for the past year, I really let myself go. I gained over 40lbs, and depression was killing me. I'm done. today, i went for a walk with my mom and almost walked a mile! I enrolled in college to try again, i put myself on a strict diet (no soda, no sweets/junk, and i eat at certain times) I've lost about 8 lbs and i feel good. I also am getting back into learning Japanese, and i bought myself a new iMac (in pink!) to replace my crappy laptop that doesnt even work. It's so nice and I'm using it to study Japanese and get ready for school next month.
I started really taking care of myself again, and i even have a dentist appointment tomorrow to fix this stupid wisdom tooth that i've been putting off since im scared of the dentist (yes childish)
I'm gonna be rearranging my study desk since it now has a mac on it and just to give my space a bit of a refresh. i did all my laundry (which sucked but was worth it) and I'm listing some stuff for sale that i no longer need.
I've made a lot of changes, and I'm not even done. I want to work on my mental health and mindset a lot too, and eventually i want to be able to go for a run instead of a walk. that'll be harder, I've never been able to run. but, i'm determined and it'll help me a lot. I'm honestly hopeful for myself and now i know why I didn't die back when i was suicidial, because i do have potential and i CAN get healthy. I just have to try. my next change is going to hopefully be using less social media and reading more. this is gonna be hard sinc i'm addicted to my hpone, but i'm going to go without instagram, reddit, twitter, etc for a week. hopefully during that time i can get better about how i treat social media and will be encouraged to study and read and walk instead of being on my phone 24/7. even as i type this on my mac, i'm wanting to check my phone. it's terrible and i do need to be able to focus in school.
oh yea, another change i made was my sleep schedule. I now go to bed at 10 every night and wake up at 8-9. i'm working on waking up at 7 next, so when school starts i can wake up when i need to. if i need to wake up at 6 then ill just have to deal with it but 7 should be fine.
so yea, thats my life update. I'm really hopeful and motivated for once, which is rare. hopefully i keep this up and continue to get healthy.
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