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it's been a difficult month. i moved out on april 17th. my landlord died, and now we've been given 30 days to get out again.
my brother is planning to drive down to texas, so it's up to my mom and myself to move. i don't know how we're going to do it. i'm so weak, the last move left me fatigued for days after i barely did anything. i get so tired so easily and it's frustrating.
today has been the most difficult day i've suffered in a long time. my mom and brother are fighting and i'm in the middle of it. i'm just trying to stay neutral. go with the flow, what will happen will happen, that's the only way i've ever been able to deal with the fact that i don't have control over anything in my life.
when i felt like crying out of frustration, my room was lit up in pink from the sunset. that's my favourite colour.
i didn't entirely want to live, but i chose life anyways, and i guess i'll be living with that until it ends. at least i might achieve my hopes of moving back to small town living? now more than ever would be a nice time to be able to go sit in the woods.
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