Another Letter to God

Dear God
Do you know how it feels to be alone in a crowd full of people?
Its an ugly feeling
Especially when they're all staring with their lifeless eyes exactly at you and they do nothing
All they do is stare like they've never seen something as misguided and disfigured in their lives
Spending time alone is usually a blessing but on this day it is a curse
I know you're dissatisfied with me, but that was always my goal
Once a devout and now I'm a sinner
No amount of salvation or light can save me anymore, and I hope I never end up in the heavens because i could never exist in the same space as such an engulfing disgrace of a figurehead as you
You could've let me lead a normal life, but instead you've burned with a disdain for me the second I took my first breath on your creation of Earth
You're just as flawed as I am but you could never admit it
You don't deserve a kingdom, you deserve to suffer on the mortal world like the rest of us
If I found you as a human, and you were alive, your death would be the first I would cause
The second would be my own; although I would feel no shame in slaughtering God Himself, I would escape the purgatory of this repetitive plastic life and go who knows where.
Strike me down to show me that you've heard my letters, and maybe then you can look inside of yourself and see how dreadful you truly are
And if you don't try and end my life, you are a coward, afraid of your own creations
You've given humans so many ways of killing, so why not try it out for yourself?
You're always taking lives by the masses, occassionally of your own followers, but why don't you try killing someone that holds a desire to watch you die and see how it makes you feel?
My death will bring out more meaning than my life ever did
Tear my flesh with shards of decay and watch me bleed out
I may sound fearless, but the only thing I have to fear is whether or not a coward such as yourself would action a deed such as death on one of your biggest disbelievers
I have no reason to fear you if you'll never even listen to the prayers from your fanatics, let alone a slew of hate from a lonely-hearted teenager