Report Blog Entry
So tired of feeling isolated, disconnected, unwanted, all of it. The people that I feel do want me around are all so far away. And what am I other than a powerless teenager in a crumbling world? the way that things are going, who knows if I'll ever even be able to drive myself to see these people that I love at this point. I'm doing my best to remain as optimistic as possible but the way that things are going, it's getting harder and harder.
My love is four hundred miles away, My friends ever farther. The world is so big and I'm stuck right where I am. Fuck Indiana. You live here once and it has a hold on you like a fucking magnet. I'm tired of this dogshit state and my mostly dogshit family. My sisters are okay. Wish I could see them more, though. I miss them. But of course they're adults with their own lives and it's not like the trip between us is especially light on gas. Side note, we need an Transcontinental railway system for public transit. Just a good opinion.
Not like I can get high to escape my own thoughts, either. Too young to do it legally and not in a state where cannabis is legal, either. But that's not a healthy coping mechanism anyway. I'm so angry but it's not like i have the energy to do anything about it. I say anything about anything and I get treated like I'm ridiculous. I hate it. I'm damn near silent at home at this point because I'm too scared to ask for anything or voice my opinions. I'm just along for the fucking ride at this point. Bag in the wind. Feel like I'm not even living for myself at this point. Just a doll to get mad at when I do something wrong. I don't even try at school at this point. At one point I tried to get better grades for myself, but the way I was talked too when I did try that made it feel like it wasn't for me.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm on the verge of crying all the time. Tired of getting physical interaction that ultimately means nothing. I just need a fucking hug that feels like there's emotion behind it. Some sort of soul. There's been a drought of that for the better part of a decade.
I know I don't post regularly enough warrant any friends or family checking at this point, but just want to say that I love y'all. at least the ones that make an effort to be here for me. I wish y'all weren't so damn far.
And to the rest, Can you start treating me like a person? please?
Comments
Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )