Update

Sup guys, it’s been a very very veryyy long time since i’ve hopped on here. So my life has gone every which way, I spiraled down from late September through December. I spent every day partying even on Tuesdays, i spent basically everyday absolutely trashed, and i didn’t even care, finally had the courage to tell the girl i was talking to that i didn’t wanna be with her bc the way she treated me was so belittling and i couldn’t take it anymore, i still didn’t enroll in college. I went to Hawaii in september, i had never been on a plane and I went to Cabo last month. I met this girl on twt a while back, we met through a deftones meme i posted and she dm’d me and we hit it off as really good friends and then we started dating and i’m meeting her in april, and this girl deserves a whole entry of her own. Words cannot explain how much i am in love with her. She treats me with so much love and respect and i wasn’t used to it at first, i didn’t really understand it, but i have never EVER been able to say with my whole heart that i KNOW someone loves me until i met her. she feels like home to me, i feel safe and i enjoy every second i get with her. i know it seems crazy bc we met online and stuff but i’m flying up to meet her in april around my birthday. Ideally she’s the woman i’d wanna spend the rest of my life with, i know it isn’t realistic or anything bc i’m young and i’ve barely lived but i hope with all my heart that it’s with her. the biggest problem is our parents, her parents aren’t exactly the supportive type and god knows mine aren’t, hispanic families are almost never okay with any “untraditional” anything. but at the end of the day it doesn’t really change anything, it won’t change who i am and it won’t change my love for her. loving a woman as good as her is not shameful in the slightest. and my life has taken a somewhat good turn, i just got a gym membership and i got a job valeting, i have a savings account and i’m going to start college this summer. i’m barely going to turn 19 but i’m looking to move out bc living here is holding me back. everyone always loves to say living with your parents is a good thing, and although i am very thankful, there’s just no room for me here anymore, my parents and i don’t have the greatest relationship and we are a family of 7 in a 2 bedroom house which we are renting. i’ve never known space, or privacy, or peace. and i tears away at me more and more the older i get. and for those reasons i’ve decided to get the hell out.