TIRED and loving death note 2/27/22

i went on a drive and wandered the mall with my friends today and i am EXHAUSTED. something shifted with my Energy For Hanging Out and i was just dragging myself along the whole time because we were already there. so now im completely out of social energy and a little irritable so hopefully i can just chill in my room until i fall asleep. its close to 7pm right now but i am TIRED. i kind of want to draw but i'll probably just listen to my oc playlists and imagine amvs lol

watched more death note today! im on episode 32. its weird because, like, SEVERAL years ago i saw a post comparing L and near to the ideas of high and low functioning people and now that im actually at the parts with near in them im like ??????? what the fuck were they on about. literally the only behavior difference between L and near is that near plays with toys and other objects. what are you trying to say here. i was complaining about that to my friends and ended up rambling about L's personality and how much i like him and near as autistic characters lol. yknow what i might as well say all that again here

i really love L for multiple reasons but i love him as an autistic character because of how REAL he is. like when you first meet him youre like "okay he's got Detective Character Autism." so many detectives and similar characters have autistic traits so hes really just another drop in the ocean at that point. but then as you see more of him and you see him interacting with other people, and then interacting non-professionally with other people, and its just like holy shit this is just An Autistic Guy. he acts almost exactly like any other autistic 20-something.

i also think its cool that he ISN'T emotionless. he is very much an emotional person, it's just that the viewers rarely see him in a non-professional setting. he gets scared and excited and shy and he presents those emotions in an autistic way. its insanely comforting just to watch how he talks and acts because hey i see myself in this!

and an incredibly specific addition: its so funny that he phrases his need to sit in certain ways as "my deduction skills are X% better when i sit like this" vs how most people would say it "i cannot focus when im sitting in a 'normal' way." honestly its an extremely in-character way for him to say it based on his whole perception of the world/his functioning.

can you tell i love him. i will latch onto any autistic character but i especially love the ones that are weird. like weird weird. L is a little freak and i absolutely love it.

song of the day: strength by abingdon boys school! added it to my warriors oc playlist lol