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I am no stranger to the wonderful world of mental illness. I've been in and out of in-patient facilities, attended therapy for a few years, used substances to cope, struggle with an eating disorder, and currently I'm on medication to help with my mood and nearly debilitating anxiety. I've been in treatment since I was 13, that's half my life!Β
Naturally, I took to the internet to find a community for people similar to me. I am not well mentally most of the time so, like most humans, I wanted to have a sense of belonging... A place where there were people who understood just how tightly mental illness can grip someone and I found that in a wonderful YouTuber called OfHerbsAndAltars!
Dorian is the lovely human behind the channel. He is genuinely the most interesting YouTuber I've ever found! He's extremely gifted in articulating vibrant imagery as he speaks, if you're up for interesting videos, I'd give his content a go! I would like to provide a TW for some of his content as he is very open about his struggles, some of those things being substance use, self harm, his battle with Anorexia. I find Dorian's candidness refreshing in the modern era of neat, polished, and tidy influencers. Dorian is messy, and I mean that in the highest regard. A while back, about a year's time, Dorian had a relapse in his eating disorder. His subscribers and Instagram followers noticed a drop in his weight and this lead to some nasty accusations. You see, Dorian is a goth, goths are known for their extreme fashion. Dorian is, from my understanding, a very big fan of creating beautiful outfits and he models them on his IG... You know, outfit of the day (OOTD) posts? He started receiving comments trying to clock him for "body checking," which is, in terms of a restrictive eating disorder, a way to check one's body for weight loss progress... Exactly as it sounds pretty much. Dorian has a video on this concept that I will link [here.]
This relapse Dorian had and people's reaction to it is what motivated me to sit down and type this thing out... Dorian is mentally ill, he has an eating disorder. Calling him out for body checking accomplishes what exactly? The aggressive accusations probably did nothing but stress him out... Why are we, the collective internet, making long call out posts or comments about mentally ill people for having symptoms? I would understand if Dorian had posted pro-ana content, giving tips or triggering numbers, but he wasn't, he was just showing his OOTD. One should not need to TW their own body, even if it has old scars or has dropped in weight.Β
Even though he was struggling, people still expected him to cram away his visible symptoms. Which I find completely offensive! Dorian is a human being still, a public figure, sure, but still human. He tries his best to manage and really, isn't that what we all do? Mental illness or not? I don't think it's fair to tell someone with Anorexia or someone who has relapsed into an ED, to essentially get offline and not post themselves on Instagram because of some alleged "body checking." It's not fair.
With that, there seems to have been an influx in armchair psychologists online. The people scolding Dorian and discussing him in the comment section of his photos is a good example. I'd like to add an example of my own that I experienced personally.
I was on Reddit and I was discussing a mental ailment that I suffer from that is very tough to diagnose. I've been in mental healthcare for several years, as I had mentioned before, I had professionals assessing me. Someone replied that I might have so-and-so and my doctors might be overlooking something... Uh, this forum is anonymous and you haven't examined me and my doctors have? Why are you trying to give your input when you literally don't know me at all? Crazy stuff right? Apparently I'm the irrational one because I got down voted for saying not to try and diagnose me via forum! Wow!
The point of me writing this is, stop trying to police mentally ill people for being mentally ill. Sometimes, we show symptoms. That's just a fact. Trying to call out someone for symptoms is kind of weird. Maybe check up on them if you feel so inclined to say something. Maybe take some time to learn when call out comments or posts are appropriate as well.
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Xxsc3n3b1rbxX
I adore OfHerbsAndAltars as well! Agreed with the post in general, thanks for shouting him out it's true that it's one of the most realistic depiction of mental illness i found online, that does not exclude any of the nasty bits/romantizes it.
later part of my comment got erased so :
I find online the marks left behind anything that doesn't conform to being a perfect flawless being particularly bites in the ass mentally ill people, especially when things such as literally existing as mentally ill can be considered "impure" by the crowd (particularly regarding scars, for exemple, or talking about experiences). I've seen that also with a lot of disorders that can provoke times of inhabitual anger, or weird beliefs that it follows people that have done things while unmedicated that follow them afterward even if they have proved they do not condone their past action and that it was a result of mental illness (i don't think it should be forgotten when it's extreme cases, but growth seems to be a foreign concept to a lot of ppl these days).
by Xxsc3n3b1rbxX; ; Report
Thank you so much for adding your comment! :D *Dorian fans unite!* lol.
But you're so right, honestly. Holding someone accountable for their harmful actions is one thing and trying to call out someone for just showing symptoms is... off, ya know?
by πΎππππβ§π¬πππππ; ; Report